In January of 2022, we went on our first big family vacation to Disney World. My expectations were pretty typical- to have fun without relying on a schedule, find time for relaxation, and spoil my kids with copious amounts of sweets. What I didn’t expect is that this trip would change the trajectory of our lives.
Disney is truly magical- it’s no mystery why they call it the happiest place on earth. It’s a giant playground for kids, and it inspires adults to find the childlike wonder that so often gets lost as we grow older. The sweet smell of cotton candy drifts through the air as the hourly parade goes by. Disney characters stand on a float, singing and dancing with unwavering enthusiasm. Waiting in line no longer feels like a chore- it feels like a journey to the next adventure. Each meal includes an unforgettable dining experience. Back at the resort, we enjoy ice cream treats under a poolside cabana with Jimmy Buffet tunes playing in the background. We wade in the lazy river, basking in the warm sun. No obligations, no cooking or cleaning, and very little responsibility. Our only focus is to have a good time.
I found myself wondering- why do I have to be on vacation to feel this way?
In our culture, leisure is something that is squeezed in on the weekends. It’s common practice at most companies to be granted a certain amount of vacation days, and to ask permission to take those days off. Vacation is advertised as an escape from real life. We are taught to go to school, get a good job, and retire at 65 or 70. Then it’s finally time to kick back and enjoy life. What if I want to enjoy my life right now?
One night, while at the resort, Mike approached me and showed me his phone.
“Hey, check this out.”
It was a house listed for sale in Florida.
“It’s nice, but who is it for?” I asked.
“It’s for us!” He replied.
I laughed. “Yeah, let’s just pack up and move away from everything we know.”
Mike often calls me a “Free Bird”, referring to the way I dive headfirst into new ideas without a plan. I have an immense amount of faith that when something feels right- it is right. After showing me a few more houses, I assumed the warm weather and palm trees were fogging up his logical lenses and that he would forget about it when we got home. Although the idea didn’t seem appealing to me at first, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.
Mike was approaching his 10-year anniversary with the company he worked for in Rhode Island. I had spent years building a business and fought through a pandemic to keep it alive. We had family, roots, childhood memories, and a home in Rhode Island. The thought of leaving everything behind felt scary- but what felt even more scary was having the nagging question in my mind- what if?
We were feeling stale and stagnant in our lives; not unhappy, but not content either. The same old monotonous routine carried us through the days. We had been searching for change. I started to think that maybe moving to a new state was the adventure we needed to shake things up.
At the end of our trip, I bought a shiny bronze mug from a gift shop. It said “Florida” on the front with a sea turtle. I told myself that I would drink out of it every single day, and if we were meant to move, the pieces would fall into place.
A couple of weeks after being home, Mike and I had a family meeting with the boys.
“What do you guys think about moving away? Like, to Florida.” We asked.
Eli smiled big, “Moving to a new house? That sounds awesome!”
Andre didn’t quite understand, “Are we moving to Disney?” he asked.
After explaining- to the best of our ability- what moving to a new state would be like, the boys were on board. It was important to us to ask our kids how they felt before uprooting them against their wishes. We are a family unit, and we feel that these big decisions should be made together.
And so, the pieces began to fall.
We worked diligently with realtors in both states to coordinate the move. We got our house ready to be put on the market, and it sold right away. The following several weeks consisted of house projects, inspections, paperwork, yard sales, and trips to the dump. We cleaned and cleared out room after room, packing away what we wanted to take with us, and getting rid of what we no longer needed. The process of purging the contents of our home was therapeutic. We knew that we had to let go of the past- figuratively and literally- to move forward.
The days leading up to the move were full of emotions; excitement, fear, sadness, grief and joy. Many of the people we knew questioned our decision and tried to sway us in the other direction.
“But you have such great jobs here, how can you leave that behind?”
“How will you afford it? Florida is expensive.”
“It’s way too hot there, you will miss the seasons.”
“You won’t have any family close by -it will be very difficult without childcare.”
We didn’t take offense to these comments because we knew they were coming from a place of fear. We said goodbye to our friends and family members one by one, with my parents being the last to send us off the morning we left. I’ll never forget what I felt that day as I drove away from our home for the very last time, watching my parents cry into each other at the end our driveway as they waved goodbye to the boys.
Just three months after our Disney trip, this is where our new journey began.
We drove for three days to the state of Florida with our cars tightly packed. Mike drove alone, and I of course had the kids, the birds, and the dog. It was an eventful trip to say the least. When we finally arrived at our rental, the boys ran to a huge palm tree in the front yard.
“Wow!” Eli said. “This is going to be awesome.”
“I think so too.” I replied.
It still feels surreal that we moved 26 hours away from the place we called home for our entire lives. Although moving to another state is not an unusual thing to do, our intention behind this move was conscious and purposeful. We didn’t move because of military requirements or job relocation. What we were searching for was a change of pace and scenery, something vibrant and unique. We were searching for a fresh start and new opportunities. We wanted our lives to feel more like one big vacation with responsibilities and obligations sprinkled in, rather than the other way around.
This past year has not been a walk in the park- that’s for sure. We moved to a rental and then moved again when we purchased a house, which meant learning how to navigate through a new city- twice. Our bodies have had to adjust to a life without seasons. Living in this big state and feeling alone has felt overwhelming at times. Although we’ve gained a few friends, we don’t have a ton of outside support here. We have experienced holidays without family for the very first time. The homeschooling community here is disconnected, and finding like-minded people has been a challenge. We have struggled with finances and finding work. We have dealt with devastation in more ways than one, a murder-suicide right across the street from our house and a category 5 hurricane just a few weeks later.
It hasn’t been an easy road, but I never had that expectation to begin with. Without any challenges or struggles, we would still be the same people we were a year ago. Taking action and moving past the fear that comes with change has created massive growth within our family, and we are even closer with each other because of it.
Oh, and the part about feeling like we are on vacation? Yeah, we got that too. We are surrounded by tropical plants and exotic animals everywhere we go. We live on the gulf coast near some of the most beautiful beaches in the world. Florida is a tourist state where the vacation never stops. Tiki bars, live music, zoos, aquariums, theme parks, museums, nature trails, boating, fishing, kayaking, the opportunity for leisure is at our fingertips every day. The important part is that we make the conscious choice to partake in leisure, making it a priority in our lives. We can choose to drag ourselves through life at the mercy of societal norms, or we can choose another way. All we have to do is trust ourselves enough to take the leap over and over again.
Moving our family to Florida has been one of the best decisions we have ever made, and we can’t wait to see what the future holds for our family.