I find it challenging to describe our daily lives as unschoolers.
I get asked questions like, “What do they do all day?” and “How will they learn math?”
When I sit and think about describing our day-to-day experience, I am repeatedly presented with a deeply felt feeling. That feeling is liberation.
Liberation is freedom. It’s freedom from structure, schedules, and timelines. It’s freedom from the confines of a brick building and arbitrary rules. It’s freedom from the limiting beliefs that we have been fed about education, autonomy, and the true nature of a child. It’s freedom from the inequality between adults and children.
Children are chaotic beings- sometimes messy, sometimes loud, and often misunderstood. Hyperactivity is viewed as a disorder rather than an endearing attribute. Children are a source of inspiration when they are allowed to bare their wild souls without feeling judgment or shame. The systems we have in place today for young children are meant to oppress and suppress their intuition and natural state of being.
As an unschooling family, our reach extends far beyond the education of our children. We are paving a path for our kids so that they can walk through life without the chains of societal norms to hold them back. When we support our children as unique individuals, we hold space for them to appreciate themselves and step into their power- something that many of us are trying to reawaken as adults.
Historically, children have always been at the bottom of social hierarchy. Their problems have no merit, they are expected to be resilient, and they are bombarded with mundane tasks and expected to do them without resistance. Treating our children like humans means respecting their personal choices, encouraging them to use their voice, and allowing them to live in a way that feels good to them. When we step in because of our own need to control the outcome, we can stifle their creativity and reduce opportunities for organic learning experiences- both academic and social.
Focusing on mental and physical wellness is the most important principle that we hold in our home. If our kids feel healthy, strong, and vibrant on the inside, they will have the tools they need to navigate through anything that comes their way. We can’t put them in a protective bubble and shield them from pain, but we can empathize with them, support them, and validate them. With a foundation of wellness, trust, respect, and healthy relationships, we are setting our kids up to succeed through every season of their lives.
An essential part of what we do involves something I like to call “sparkly joy”. My children are entitled to a life full of JOY. Yes, I will shower my children with all of the glittery, glitzy, magical things I can muster up. I will cater to them and coddle them as much as I please. No- this won’t create spoiled adults. In fact, my kids are the most empathetic, kind, generous people that I know. I am offering them a life full of compassion and fun with the intention that they will always look for the “sparkly joy” themselves, and shy away from anything that doesn’t meet that standard.
Here are some examples of “sparkly joy”:
-Getting ice cream in the middle of the day.
-Having an unexpected water fight with the hose, fully clothed.
-Bringing a platter of snacks and lemonade to them while they are focused in play.
-Eating dinner with only our mouths.
-A day of snuggles on the couch and watching movies.
-Surprising them with small gestures like a pack of gum or a new toy from the store.
-Getting a birthday cake in the middle of the week for no reason at all.
-Building forts all over the house with no intention of cleaning them up.
-Playing in the rain and getting as muddy as possible.
-Random trips to special places like the zoo or the water park.
-Dance parties, tickle fights, nerf gun wars, body painting.
You get the idea.
Sparkly Joy is a form of liberation. It’s acting spontaneously and forgetting about the boring rules that come with being an adult. Children don’t need to work hard to find this joy, but we as parents need to work hard sometimes to let go of the imaginary parameters that we have put around life with children. We should be learning from them. We don’t hold sacred wisdom because we are a few years older. We don’t know it all. Children can bring out the best in us, if only we would trust them to lead the way.
Get messy. Get loud. Get out of your own head. Let go, be free, and enjoy this one precious life.
Liberation is what unschooling feels like. When we stop feeling free, and we begin to feel tired, bogged down, restricted, or out of alignment; it’s a sign that we need to invite some more sparkle into our lives and let go of control.